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Tasberry's Full Review of the LG CHOCOLATE

Normally I don't really care for LG cell phones. I've always been partial to Motorolas. Moto gets a bad rep sometimes but I've never had any problem with any Motorola that I've even owned except for those old ass ones with the long ass battery/back that used to just die after three seconds of conversation. Anyway, I've owned two previous LGs ONLY because they offer the one sided phone conversation recording feature and the Motorolas for my provider are not capable of it. That is the ONLY reason I owned LGs because this was a feature I decided I could not live without.
When I heard about the Chocolate I immediately had desire to get one. It was different, it was hot looking, they marketed it really well, and it was something I knew would cause a big commotion. OMEGOODNESS an ipod/ phone right? Yeah. Well anyway I ran out on August 6th to be one of the first people who got this phone. I've now been experimenting with it for an entire two weeks so I feel I can give my entire review now. So here goes:

LOOKS:
Looks hot, there's no doubt about that! I love the glossy casing (even though it gets dirty as shit), the red touch pad lights, and the overall size of it. I've never owned an ipod so I didn't really know if it looked like one or not but it damn sure looked smokin'! And I dont' even like slider phones but this one caught my eye. A plus on the eye candy aspect of the design. Sweet indeed.

RECEPTION:
I've had no problems with the reception on this phone, but then again I had no problems with the reception on ANY phone that I've owned. I live in a well towered area so i can't really say if there's issues or not. The phone would have to be REALLY bad to screw up in my area.
Voice clarity is excellent. Yes, I can hear you now. Volume settings are sufficient enough for my liking. No static or weird tunnel sounds or anything. They did ok there. A for reception/voice clarity/ volume.
The music player is actually pretty good. Kicks pretty good ass for only having one speaker but I still think the 8100 and 8300 had louder sounds. Factory ringtones are pretty loud and "interesting" but they took one away that I had on my 8300 that I used to use for texts :-(

BATTERY LIFE:
Sucks complete and utter monkey balls. The extended battery is a MUST with this phone. Original battery did not last an entire day when I had it and I wouldn't say I'm a real heavy user. I talk, I text, and I go on the internet a few times a day to check my e-mail but wtf? Plan on spending an additonal fifty dollars for the extended battery unless you enjoy being CLICKED in the middle of a really good conversation. D- for battery life.

FEATURES:
This phone is packed with a lot of great features. Well you've got your music player (which can play mp3 and wma. awesome), your camera (which takes excellent pictures), your long ass video taking capabilities, your bluetooth, your internet, your v-cast, your touch pad, your voice command, your voice memo, your tty, and your blah blah blah. What you don't have is a speakerphone and just for that I want to throw the phone out the window. How can a manufacturer even think about making a phone without the speakerphone feature??? When I found out I had no speaker phone I almost pissed myself. I use bluetooth sometimes but mostly I like to put my phone on speaker and sit it next to me when I'm doing something. I prefer that option to bluetooth. We should have a choice.I'm going to have to give this phone a rating of WTF for the missing speaker phone. Is LG on crack? So I can listen to music out the speaker but I can't listen to another caller out the speaker? What the hell?

QUIRKS AND FLAWS:
Now for the good part. I just don't think LG was thinking much when they developed this. It was a good concept but the flaws on this phone are just too annoying. For one...no speakerphone. Number two there is not enough area for text messaging and the keys are too close together. I am a lady with very small fingers and text messaging has become a really hard TASK. I text a lot and I literally have cramps from screwing around with this matchbox sized texting area. No effing good unless you are an elf with a toothpick handy.
The touch pad is way too sensitive even after playing with the sensitivity setting. I find myself going into the wrong menu items a lot, activating menu items with my cheek while i'm in a call, muting myself with my cheek by mistake when the phone's up to my ear and other such bloopers.
The keypad has a lock that you can't change the settings to. It locks on you if you don't press anything in three seconds. I'd rather have the option to lock my keypad when I feel like it and unlock it when I don't. This is extremely annoying especially if you have a thought that takes more than three seconds to process. Well then you have to stop and unlock the damn phone! Not only that but when you're in a call and a call waiting call comes in you have to UNLOCK the keypad and then answer the call. By that time the other caller has probably gotten pissed off and hung up and your other party will probably hang up on you too because most likely you will activate the mute button with your cheek and they won't hear wtf you're saying anymore till you again unlock the keypad and then turn the mute off. Oh and I forgot, to unlock said keypad you have to press the voice memo side button TWICE. Not just once.
If you're listening to music with a stereo headset and a call comes in, you can't answer the call and talk through your headset like on the 8100 and 8300s. Oh no no no, you have to take your headset off and then put the phone up to your ear and talk in it.After of course unlocking the keypad and accidentally activating the mute button. Wtf kind of bullshit is this??? There's a setting in the music controls called "music only." It makes it so that you can only listen to music and not be bothered by the phone. It's really not necessary because you pretty much will be listening to music only after you and your caller get frustrated as shit a few times. No one will call you anymore.
When you're connected to bluetooth and you use voice command...after the conversation ends the voice command bitch keeps asking you if you want to call so and so. If you say no she calls them anyway. You can't slap her so it becomes another annoyance.
Weird software stuff happens like phone freezes and speaker stops working intermittently. I like the fact that I can get and respond to text messages while I'm on a call but sometimes that feature does not work properly and the phone freezes up on me. Lost all of my sound one time for no apparent reason. Had to reboot the phone to get it back. Not good.
No standard headset jack. Have to use stupid looking adaptor that most people lose from jump because they have no idea what the hell it is.

GOOD STUFF:
There are a few good things about this phone. You can make and send your own sounds to yourself and save them as ringtones. That's a good one. You can set your texts to autoplay which I love because I'm too lazy to press buttons and open them up. You can listen to music. Text messaging ringer id is pretty cool. And er...well...that's about it.

OVERALL OPINION:
My overall opinion of this phone is that it's way more glamour than goods. It's really sharp looking and different and all that, but basic functionality becomes a really hard and annoying task way too much with this. So...come September I will puttting my candy back in its box and getting something a little less freaky and possessed. It's not going to be a keeper.

THe Einstein Award

And the Einstein award goes to...the guy who dropped his cell phone in the toilet and then rinsed it off in the sink as not to leave "toilet germs" on it. Oh yeah, that's reeeal smooth, boss. I'm sure the phone wasn't damaged enough from falling in your funky toilet. You had to run a stream of water over the electronic components too. This idiot's wife had nerve enough to ask me to do a phone book transfer on that phone too. Some how I didn't quite think that that machine was going to be reading any phone numbers off of that particular phone. I don't know what clued me in. The piss coming out of the charging port or the fog on the display. Hrrrm. Anyway, this guy was definitely on my Einstein list today. Yeah.